What could you have possible done on a Friday morning, if you were short of options? Counted the number of tiles in your washroom or pluck your body fuzz. I instead chose to watch the latest, pointless installment of director Indra Kumar’s ‘Dhamaal’ franchise. 

‘Total Dhamaal’ is total destruction of human sanity, roaming around in the guise of a film. Even the team knew of the disaster in the making to the extent that they’ve virtually emphasized in all their press interactions that it’s not a film for the logical. But can we kindly have one reason why one should feel deprived of entertainment while seated at a cinema hall?

There is no point in delving into the plot of this film because it has been replicated from the 2007 ‘Dhamaal’, just inclusive of major star attractions with Ajay Devgn, Anil Kapoor and Madhuri Dixit. My only question to the three actors is: what made them sign this film? I’ve never seen Kapoor Sr. look so unconvinced and bored in his part. He was far more entertaining in ‘Race 3’. Equally shocking is the role given to Dixit. At a time when actresses past their prime are looking for meatier parts, it’s sad to see the beautiful actress settle for less. Riteish Deshmukh who was pretty much enjoyable as the tech-savvy Roy in the earlier installments is given an unconvincing character shift as Lallan, a Bihari fireman, who can’t even get his diction right. It’s only the quirks of Arshad Warsi and Javed Jafferi as Adi and Manav that add some spark to this singularly, unpleasant film. It’s equally disturbing to see the very talented Sanjay Mishra get reduced as a sidekick when he is absolutely capable of carrying a film on his shoulders.

There is no trace of innovation in the technical department. The CGI effects are equivalent to animation done through a Windows 98 system. Also, can the South Indian stereotypes stop? ‘Dhamaal’, which remains one of my all-time favourite comedies, featured the ‘Naam batate batate Goa pahunch jayega’ joke starring Vinay Apte, which still makes me roll on the floor till my pit hurts. But the South Indian jibes in ‘Total Dhamaal’ are horribly ignorant and stereotypical, you really have to ask, why not for once can Hindi filmmakers invest time in knowing certain cultures and languages before writing their jokes? Lastly, I’m willing to treat anyone who can remotely justify the appearances of Sonakshi Sinha and Esha Gupta in the film.

If you completely despise somebody, treat them to a free ticket of ‘Total Dhamaal’.